Hello you all,
On this International Women’s day it might be a nice thing to introduce you to Holly, who is new to our online blog community. Holly, welcome around our Online Table! Holly answered happily the question: Would you like to write a guestpost? And this is her response:
I am Weak but He is Strong
The helpless put their trust in you.
Psalm 10:14
In my younger years waking up was synonymous with throwing back the covers and launching my body into an upright position, but these days moving out of sleep must be done like everything else – with utmost caution! I have a weak, jittery heart and asking it to shift gears always signifies potential trouble. Waking up is one of the hardest things I do each day. Sometimes I need to let my mind kick into action for a while before moving any part of my body. Other days, exposure to light has to be carefully gradual.
Regardless, even on mornings when my heart seems extra-temperamental, I hope for good things and mentally frame the day in a context that forces positive expectation.
This isn’t easy.
Sometimes I’m tempted to think that the strongest, most enjoyable moments of my life are behind me. The contrast between former me (healthy, capable, energetic) – and current me (weak, slow, tired) is depressing. Dwelling on this for too long isn’t a good idea. Maybe this is true for all of us; fixating on the negative is like sticking our heads through a doorway that leads to a dark place.
A few weeks ago I sat at the dinner table with my daughter, who is studying from home, and my husband, who’d been fighting a cold. Our conversation went where thoughts tend to go these days when someone gets sick: What if his cold is actually COVID-19? I made a (regrettable) offhand comment about how lonely I would be if both my husband and daughter died, leaving me behind. My husband’s response took me by surprise.
I was gloomily thinking about the future as a lengthy ordeal to struggle through. I often do. Since developing a debilitating heart condition in my mid-thirties, life has changed. Many of my dreams aren’t attainable anymore. There are so many physically intense activities I’d love to engage in… but my existence is subdued. Limited. So, without realizing it, I often frame my remaining years here as a kind of long wait.
My husband sensed this attitude and told me to enjoy the time I have. Don’t just endure it. Use it. It’ll pass so quickly. His gentle rebuke reminded me that life is not over until it’s over. My time here is a gift. Your time here is a gift. Do I believe that? Do you?
Is the most significant season of life over? Or is God powerful enough to show up in a future that begins with today?
The Bible is filled with stories of flawed people who wrestle with indecision, anxiety, depression, fatigue and other challenges. God works in and through real people. His strength makes their weakness irrelevant.
Sometimes we make the mistake of revering biblical figures, forgetting the brokenness that runs, interrupted only by Jesus, through scripture. We lose sight of the overall plot – the mission – the sweep of the Bible. Scripture doesn’t exist to wow us with tales of muscular heroes or exemplary overachievers. God’s story is all about His presence in the lives of wimpy shepherds, women of dubious morals and other less-than-perfect humans. And God’s presence transforms everything.
The dark, broken signs of life in the real world are, no doubt, as easy for you to spot in your life as they are for me to spot in mine. But don’t become distracted or discouraged by this. God is not distant or disinterested. He has not rejected or abandoned us. His role in our world and our lives is what it has always been. He is here to restore. To offer hope and comfort. To make weak people strong. In spite of my flawed heart, God can make my life meaningful.
Strength in the real world (God’s world) isn’t measured in the thickness of a bicep or by someone’s score on a mental wellness test. Strength is about believing that the Creator of everything has an unrelenting grip on you and me. He will not let us go. He will love us and use us in spite of our flaws.
You are valuable, even during the moments when you have nothing to offer. You don’t have to be strong. He is.
Kind regards,
P.s 1 Are you inspired to write your guestblog here? Feel free to do so. Write 500 – 600 words about a topic of your interest and sent it to me. (although, I am the board and decide if it gets published here;-) but give it a try! We love to hear more stories. Let them come!
P.s. 2 Want to read more? Here is a summary of the end of the 100 day/ 100 word day project.
Have a nice day,
Janneke
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